top 10

10 things I did this year that I never thought I would ever do...


10. eat two full boxes of mac and cheese

9. go 3 months without drinking

8. do a 3 hour bike ride and call it a “lazy” day

7. accept that there will always be more bike grease on me than on my bike

6. cut all my hair off like a boy

5. been so starving that I spent 20 min imagining how good my arm could taste if it were grilled and covered in bbq sauce

4. go in a porta potty bare foot

3. burn big rectangles across my forehead through the air vents in my helmet

2. eat a once been frozen, jalapeño cheeseburger warmed up in a microwave on the train back from SD

1. ask chris to pee on me because I was so cold in the water (only half joking)

My Dear Amy....

My Dear Amy,

Today I felt your presence as I sat in temple on Yom Kippur and came across the poem you once wrote about in your blog. It brought a smile to my face as I realized that only two years before you read the same words I was reading at that moment. As I was reading that poem, another great quote came into my mind that seems to resonate deeper on this day. It was only a few weeks before you passed away that we were up at three in the morning sitting by the fire discussing Kierkegaard when we were supposed to be studying for a Hume and Hobbes final. You told me a wonderful quote that you felt when taken out of context could be a way to approach life. I only truly understood your interpretation in the months following your death.

"He is not cowardly, he is not afraid to let his love steal in upon his most secret, most hidden thoughts, to let it twine itself in countless coils around every ligament of his consciousness....Having thus imbibed all the love and adsorbed himself in it, he no longer lacks the courage to attempt and risk everything" – Kierkegaard

Sitting in temple reflecting on our sins of the past, I was brought back to these words. I don’t know if I will ever be there Ames but I think this journey has brought me that much closer. I have the first four words on my road id so I can be reminded of them every time I workout. The countless hours alone on the bike, running along the beach or in the silence of the pool have forced me alone with my own thoughts to face that night and all that has followed. You are the reason I am doing it. I hate that it took losing you to remind me how lucky I am but I promise that I will not let you down. I know you will be out there with me on Nov 1st. I hope that I have made you proud Amy. I love you always and miss you each and every day.

30 days away!!!!

“To tell the truth, it was not the exultant finish or peak experience I expected. It felt more akin to being beaten and left for dead, but somehow having survived, and not knowing if it was for better or for worse.” Dakin Ferris

This quote made me laugh. What am I doing!?!?!? I think we all have to be a bit nuts to take on something like this. I love it though. 30 days away!!!! I cannot believe how close it is getting. I did my first 100 bike ride on Saturday. It felt amazing! I love riding up the California coast on PCH. The 16 mile run on Sunday was a different story though. I was in too much pain to enjoy running along the beautiful Santa Monica beaches but I know I will be ready in a month. I have trained hard this year and I know I am ready for Florida but I cannot help but fear what that day will bring. I get a rush of emotions just thinking about it. I have spent a year preparing for one day. I am anxious, excited, scared and sad. Oddly enough, I am sad that this training will be over. This has been an amazing journey with amazing friends that I will remember for the rest of my life. Even if I do decide to do another ironman, nothing will ever be like the first.